When you lose someone you love, you go through changes that you cannot control. Some part of you goes away for a while, trying to process it. Some other part tries to maintain the status quo, to “be strong”. You hold some of yourself in reserve, just in case, because the world is not the same and you might need those reserves. It doesn’t feel safe to be vulnerable in any way. And while you tiptoe through this dichotomous-quicksand-complex bog of feeling and numbness, all of your people reach out to support you, each in their own way.
Some people say things you will always remember and hold dear. After my brother died a few years ago, my cousin the minister said:
Indeed. That was just what I needed to hear that day.
A customer of my Dad’s who had become a friend (because that’s how my Dad did business; he was always a trusted friend and never a salesman), a man who I had never met, sent me a card after we lost my brother that said:
I can’t express how meaningful those words are to me.
And now, after my father’s unexpected death, the people around me, the stars in my sphere of being, are reaching out in their own ways to support me and my family. It is a beautiful and overwhelming humbling experience. So many kind and thoughtful gestures, so many meaningful words and messages of support, so many gifts and acts of kindness and service; too many to name.
But a couple I will highlight; this beautiful gift of wind chimes, personalized with my Dad’s name and dates of life. He was a woodworker by hobby and made me several sets of wind chimes, so it was really special that my colleagues at work gave me this gift. I brought them to Little House in the Rockies, our tiny cabin, and every time I hear them I think of Dad. Click the short video to hear the chimes.
Another “gift” was the sharing of this video made by the son of a colleague. It is a lovely two-minute animation about the stages of grief, and is very comforting and peaceful.
More to come as this processing continues.
Copyright 2017, Glover Gardens Cookbook (except the Stages of Grief video)
