Honoring Lost Loved Ones with Food, Stories, and Love
At Glover Gardens, we believe in honoring our lost loved ones — and in learning from the beautiful traditions that keep their memories alive.
This year, my husband Tom (aka The Grill-Meister) and I had the joy of hosting my “bonus sister” — or as she’s been called in this blog, my sister-in-love — Noemi, for a belated Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) celebration. We couldn’t observe it on the actual date, but as Noemi said, love doesn’t follow a calendar. It was Día de los Muertos, Observed — and it was perfect.
A Tradition of Remembering
Noemi has celebrated Día de los Muertos for years, honoring her departed loved ones — her parents, her husband Jimmy, my brother Steve (her first husband), her parents, my parents, and others who shaped her life. Over the years, she has sent me photos of her ofrendas — the traditional altars that hold photos, candles, flowers, and small offerings of food or drink for those who’ve passed.
To help me understand the tradition, she once texted me this description she found:
“The ofrendas represent a remembrance of the departed, a reminder that life is eternal and that the presence of the deceased loved one is everlasting. The ofrendas speak of affection toward the deceased and are an expression of love toward life.”
Noemi has been known to keep her ofrenda up all year — beautiful photos and reminders of her lost loved ones.
She described how she observes Día de los Muertos, “I usually drink a Coors Light for Mom, have a lemon square for Steve, drink a Dr. Pepper for Jimmy, a martini for Nancy… just a little something for everyone throughout the day to be remembered.”
It’s such a deeply human, loving ritual — not pagan or eerie, as some assume. (Tom blames the James Bond movie Live and Let Die for that misconception!) As Noemi says, it’s simply “an expression of love toward life.”
Our Belated Celebration
We decided that for our belated celebration, each of us would choose a loved one to honor through food — a meal, a flavor, an indelible memory.
Noemi chose my brother Steve, her first husband, the father of my beloved nieces, one of the funniest humans ever born. Steve loved Noemi’s picadillo — a hearty Mexican-American ground meat and vegetable stew she learned to make growing up, calling it a “struggle meal”. It’s humble and nourishing, a delicious and slightly spicy concoction with deep, rich flavors. The “struggle meal” moniker denotes that the dish is budget-friendly and can be stretched to feed a large family. But we reflected that so-called “struggle meals”, which usually stem from your childhood or early marriage, are also and perhaps more importantly, “nostalgia meals”, the kind of comfort food we want to make over and over again because it connects us to long-gone times and long-lost loved ones.
Tom chose to honor my father, who was a magnificent father-in-law and friend to him. Dad adored cornbread — another food that fits into the “struggle meal” category. Born and raised in the dustbowl of west Texas, Dad’s family had cornbread on the table for most meals and he loved the enhanced version he called “corny bread” — jalapeño-cheese cornbread made with creamed corn — so The Grill-Meister put his own spin on this dish, topping it with crispy bacon and extra sharp cheddar.
I initially thought of choosing Fiona, our beloved calico who passed very recently (you can read her obituary here). It was such a sudden, unexpected and wrenching loss. I was going to serve an appetizer of sardines in her memory — she loved her fishy cat food — but then I felt Mom tapping my shoulder from beyond. With Dad and Steve on the list, she couldn’t be left out! So I decided we could celebrate Fiona next year, and made Mom’s famous Pickled Pepper Poppers, which Noemi and had I recreated last summer and shared right here on the blog. Mom’s love for cooking continues to be an inspiration for me.
Cooking, Remembering, Laughing
We gathered after work on a Wednesday with our recipes, ingredients, photos for our ofrenda, and full hearts.
Our evening began in the Tree House with appetizers — those tangy Pickled Pepper Poppers — and stories flowed as easily as the wine.
Back in the Glover Gardens kitchen, Noemi stirred her stew, Tom tended to his cornbread, and the air filled with the scent of nostalgic “struggle meals”.
During dinner, we laughed, we told stories, and yes — there might have been a tear or two. It was a night of remembrance, gratitude, and connection. It was an incredible blessing for me that my three departed family members were the ones we honored. Family I chose — my husband and bonus sister — remembered family I was born into, creating an incredibly rich tapestry of meaning.
By the time the dishes were done, we knew that Día de los Muertos, Observed would become an annual tradition at Glover Gardens.
Reflections on Love and Memory
When Noemi texted her ofrenda picture last year, I replied:
“Wow, that is so beautiful. What a life you have lived, when we look at it through the lens of the people who loved you — shining like jewels studded into a beautiful shawl wrapped around you. You have been well loved.”
She said:
“Damn, Kim! You’re such a wordsmith! Everyone on the ofrenda was loved and deserves to be remembered today and always. Today is just the day they can visit a little closer, and I’m remembering good times about each one.”
And that’s what Día de los Muertos — and life itself — is all about: remembering good times, sharing stories, and keeping love alive through food, family, and celebration.
Noemi found this old picture of my family in my brother’s things and shared it with me recently. It’s one I’ve never seen, but I must have been the one to take it. It brings me instant joy.
What We Mean to Each Other
Our Dia de las Muertos celebration reminded me exactly why I started the What We Mean to Each Other series: because every meal, every story, and every shared tradition is a way to build connections that last beyond the beating hearts, laying the groundwork for:
I remember you. I love you. You mattered.
We are made of the love we give — and the love we keep alive.
Bonus Track
“Coco” is a Pixar movie that beautifully explores remembrance, what we mean to each other and Dia de los Muertos. My son had the awesome opportunity to arrange a song from the movie, “Remember Me” for the Henry Mancini Institute (HMI) Orchestra when he was doing his post-graduate degrees at the University of Miami. The post below has an awesome performance of his arrangement of the song, sung by a double-awesome singer. Warning: it could make you cry.
💀🌼 Have you ever created an ofrenda or shared a Day of the Dead meal in remembrance? I’d love to hear your stories in the comments. 🌼💀
© 2025, Glover Gardens
We have something similar to your Dia de los Muertos in the Philippines. We would visit the cemetery and have some celebration and prayers at home.
The cornbread looks so delicious.